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Free to Be Mindful Podcast
Chasing Gold Stars As An Adult
September 8, 2026
Ep:
317
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Still chasing gold stars as an adult? A licensed therapist breaks down validation, identity, and permission for high achieving women.
High-achieving women don't need gold stars to keep chasing validation, we just found more sophisticated adult ways to earn it. As a licensed therapist, I see this constantly in the women I coach, and in myself. This episode is about what happens when you try wanting something with absolutely no one watching.
WHAT YOU'LL LEARN
✅ Why the validation you got from childhood gold stars never actually stopped, it just changed shape
✅ The difference between preparation that comes from real care and preparation that comes from needing to be noticed
✅ A simple way to find a want you've been quietly editing down for years
✅ Why reclaiming something just for yourself starts with taking the audience away
CHAPTERS
00:00 Chasing Gold Stars
00:41 Podcast Welcome
01:14 Adult Approval Habits
02:32 Compliments As Stickers
03:15 What Do You Want
04:00 Salsa And Self Focus
05:15 Finding The Want Again
06:24 Guided Reflection
07:11 Let It Stay Full
07:31 Coaching Invitation
08:02 Final Sendoff
GRAB AN OFFER
🎁 Free Resource: 120 Coping Skills: https://www.freetobemindful.com/podcast-120copingskills
💛 Coaching for the Mom CEO: https://www.amigamoms.com
💡 Coaching for Child Therapists: https://www.thekidclinician.com/
💚 Coaching & Community for Latinx Therapists: https://www.latinxpracticecollective.com/
ABOUT ME
I'm Vanessa, the therapist who helps high-achieving adults become the best version of themselves, not just at work, but in the rooms that matter most. I host the Free to Be Mindful Podcast, named the #1 Latino Mental Health Podcast in 2026 by Feedspot. I believe the people who give everything to everyone else deserve to stop surviving and start living intentionally.
CONNECT WITH ME ON SOCIAL
🎧 Podcast: https://www.freetobemindful.com/podcast
📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/counselorvdejesus/
📋 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/counselorvdejesus/
🎤 Speaking & Workshops: https://www.freetobemindful.com/speaking
DISCLAIMER
Free to Be Mindful Podcast episodes are for educational purposes only and should not be considered as or substituted for therapy or professional help from a licensed clinician.
Chasing Gold Stars As An Adult | Ep317
[00:00:00] There's a smell that takes me right back, and that's freshly sharpened pencils, a brand new notebook before even a single page gets used. And if you grew up anywhere near the late '80s or early '90s, you know exactly what I mean when I say Lisa Frank Trapper Keeper.
But here's what I actually want to ask you today, and I don't think you're gonna love the answer. Remember the specific rush of having a gold star, a sticker, a smiley face at the top of your paper or your name moved up on a chart? What if you never actually stopped chasing that feeling, but just instead found grownup ways to earn it?
That's what we're talking about today.
You're listening to the Free To Be Mindful podcast, the space for high-achieving women who give their best to everyone and are ready to keep some of it for themselves. I'm Vanessa, licensed therapist, speaker, and mom coach. I know what it takes to build a life you're proud of without losing yourself in the process.
Each week, we get honest about ambition, [00:01:00] identity, and the parts of ourselves that we quietly set aside. Here we go