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Free to Be Mindful Podcast
How to Stop Caring What People Think
September 21, 2026
Ep:
319
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Licensed therapist Vanessa De Jesus Guzman shares how to stop caring what people think and find real confidence in your mid-40s.
Stop code switching and start showing up: that's what I'm learning to do as a first gen, Dominican, high-achieving woman who's spent years adjusting my voice for every room I walk into. In this episode, I open up about the bridge generation, what code-switching actually costs, and what changed the moment I decided to show up as my authentic self instead.
What You'll Learn
✅ Why the switching started long before she had a word for it, and why it never actually stops, it just changes rooms
✅ What it costs to spend years adjusting yourself so everyone else stays comfortable
✅ Why the timing of feeling "othered" looks different depending on where and how you grew up
✅ The unwritten professional and entrepreneurial rules nobody can hand you when your parents were never in those rooms
✅ What it looks like day to day to stop code-switching and let your full self show up instead
✅ One reflection to use this week to notice where you're still switching out of habit
Chapters
00:00 Code Switching At Home
00:45 Hispanic Heritage Month Theme
01:38 First Gen Bridge Skills
04:04 College And Othering
05:19 Entrepreneurship And Loneliness
06:52 Dropping The Switch
07:58 Authentic In Every Room
10:20 Guided Reflection
11:23 Share And Closing
GRAB AN OFFER
🎁 Free Resource: 120 Coping Skills: https://www.freetobemindful.com/podcast-120copingskills
💛 Coaching for the Mom CEO: https://www.amigamoms.com
💡 Coaching for Child Therapists: https://www.thekidclinician.com/
💚 Coaching & Community for Latinx Therapists: https://www.latinxpracticecollective.com/
ABOUT ME
I'm Vanessa, the therapist who helps high-achieving adults become the best version of themselves, not just at work, but in the rooms that matter most. I host the Free to Be Mindful Podcast, named the #1 Latino Mental Health Podcast in 2026 by Feedspot. I believe the people who give everything to everyone else deserve to stop surviving and start living intentionally.
CONNECT WITH ME ON SOCIAL
🎧 Podcast: https://www.freetobemindful.com/podcast
📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/counselorvdejesus/
📋 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/counselorvdejesus/
🎤 Speaking & Workshops: https://www.freetobemindful.com/speaking
DISCLAIMER
Free to Be Mindful Podcast episodes are for educational purposes only and should not be considered as or substituted for therapy or professional help from a licensed clinician.
How to Stop Stop Caring What People Think | Ep319
[00:00:00]
Vanessa: My daughter turned two this year, and lately I catch myself watching her the way that you would watch someone who has a secret that you used to know, because she hasn't learned yet that she's supposed to perform for anyone. She does whatever she wants, trust me, whatever she wants just because she wants to do it. And my son, who's now in middle school, lost that somewhere around third, fourth, or fifth grade.
And this week is my birthday, and I am well established in my mid-40s, and I'm noticing something that actually surprised me, and that is that I'm starting to get some of that "secret" back.
You're listening to the Free To Be Mindful podcast, the space for high-achieving women who give their best to everyone and are ready to keep some of it for themselves. I'm Vanessa, licensed therapist, speaker, and mom coach. I know what it takes to build a life you're proud of without losing yourself in the process.
Each week, we get honest about ambition, identity, and the parts of ourselves that we quietly set aside. Here we [00:01:00] go