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Free to Be Mindful Podcast
How Moms Lose Track of What They Want and How to Find It Again
June 22, 2026
Ep:
313
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What do moms actually want? Why high-achieving moms lose track of their own wants & how to reclaim them. Free to Be Mindful Podcast, Vanessa De Jesus Guzman LPC NCC
My daughter turned two this month. I watched her eat her birthday cake with zero regard for the mess, completely absorbed in the moment, not thinking about what was next. Just entirely, joyfully present. And somewhere between the frosting and the candles, I thought about how we all used to know how to do that, and somewhere along the way, every quiet moment became a to-do list.
This episode is one of the most personal things I've ever shared on the podcast. It's about a miracle pregnancy I didn't see coming, the season of life that shaped it, and the deeper question underneath all of it: when did we stop asking ourselves what we actually want?
What You'll Learn
✅ Why the fourth trimester puts your wants in a drawer — and why so many of us forget to take them back out
✅ How borrowed wants from social media and comparison quietly replace our real ones
✅ Why adjusting your wants to fit your current season is strategy, not failure
✅ The I Want Practice: a simple quarterly exercise to reconnect with what's actually yours
✅ What watching a two-year-old can teach a high-achieving mom about permission
Chapters
00:00 Birthday Cake Presence
00:43 Podcast Welcome Setup
01:21 IVF Panic Turning Point
03:23 Letting Go And New Life
04:46 When Wants Change
05:32 Motherhood Survival Mode
07:27 Borrowed Wants Pressure
09:12 Seasons And Realistic Goals
11:19 Village Support Constraints
13:08 Quarterly I Want Practice
16:17 Toddlers Teach Desire
18:44 Homework And Closing
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LET’S STAY CONNECTED
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DISCLAIMER:
Free to Be Mindful Podcast episodes are for educational purposes only and should not be considered as or substituted for therapy or professional help from a licensed clinician.
FTBM Podcast Ep313: How Moms Lose Track of What They Want and How to Find It Again
Vanessa: [00:00:00] My daughter turned two this month, and I spent most of the morning watching her eat her birthday cake with zero regard for the mess that she was making, and completely absorbed in the moment, not thinking about what was next or what she was supposed to be doing, just entirely joyfully present.
And I thought, "Wow, kids are so good at that, and adults suck at it." We all used to know how to do that, but then life just gets so loud, and every quiet moment becomes a to-do list.
This episode is for the mom who can't remember the last time she asked herself what she actually wants, not for her kids, not for her family, not for her career on paper, but just for her.
Let's get into it
You're listening to the Free To Be Mindful podcast, where busy moms get practical tips and real talk conversations to find calm, joy, and a little more breathing room in everyday life. I'm Vanessa, licensed therapist, mom coach, and a mom to a tween and [00:01:00] toddler. Each week, we get honest about motherhood and mindset, helping you live with more presence, less pressure, without losing your... well, you know. Here we go