Understanding Anxiety in Kids: What Every Parent and Educator Should Know

Anxiety is a normal part of life, but for many children, it can feel overwhelming - especially when they don’t have the words or tools to manage it. Whether it’s worrying about a test, social interactions, or the unknown, kids often experience anxiety in ways that can impact their confidence, learning, and overall well-being.

Understanding how anxiety works and providing children with concrete strategies to manage their emotions can make a world of difference. Hello, Anxiety by Jessica Sinarski offers an excellent framework for introducing these concepts in a relatable and accessible way.

Understanding Anxiety and the Brain’s Response to Stress

One of the most insightful aspects of Hello, Anxiety is how it explains the science behind anxious feelings. The book introduces children to the role of the amygdala - the part of the brain responsible for detecting threats and triggering a stress response. It highlights how, for kids, everyday worries like difficult homework or a disagreement with a friend can feel just as intense as real physical danger.

This connection is important because when children understand why they feel anxious, they can begin to separate real threats from perceived ones. Teaching kids that their brains sometimes "sound the alarm" unnecessarily can help them take control of their responses rather than feeling trapped by their worries.

Practical Strategies to Help Kids Manage Anxiety

Helping children manage anxiety requires more than just reassurance - it involves teaching them skills they can use in real time. Hello, Anxiety outlines several practical techniques that parents, educators, and mental health professionals can implement:

Deep Breathing Techniques. The book introduces the 4 - 7 - 8 breathing method (inhale for four seconds, hold for seven, exhale for eight). This can be beneficial for older children, while younger kids may find a modified version (such as a 4 - 5 - 6 pattern) more accessible.
Breaking Down Big Tasks. Overwhelm can quickly escalate anxiety. Teaching kids to approach challenges in smaller, manageable steps helps them feel more in control. Whether it’s a long homework assignment or a big school project, breaking tasks into sections makes them less intimidating.
Making a Plan. When kids are worried about something, creating a simple plan can help reduce uncertainty and provide a sense of control. If a child is nervous about an upcoming test, for example, help them map out a study schedule. If they’re anxious about a social situation, role-playing possible scenarios can make them feel more prepared. Having a plan transforms anxiety from an abstract fear into an actionable challenge.
Using a Comfort Object. Some children benefit from carrying a small item - like a bracelet, fidget tool, or even a photo - that provides a sense of security during stressful situations.
Positive Self-Talk. One of the most powerful messages in Hello, Anxiety is the use of affirmations to build a resilient inner dialogue. A simple mantra like, “I know this might be tough, but I can get through it. I can use my whole wise brain. I've got this.” can be a helpful reminder for kids when they’re facing moments of uncertainty or fear.

The Role of Language in Shaping a Child’s Relationship with Anxiety

While helping kids identify their emotions is crucial, the way we talk about anxiety can also shape how they experience it. Some children, when given a formal label for their feelings, may begin to see it as an identity rather than an emotion. It’s important to encourage a mindset of "I have anxious thoughts sometimes" rather than "I have anxiety, so I can’t do this."

For this reason, professionals working with children may find it helpful to use language like “worried feelings” or “nervous energy” instead of reinforcing anxiety as a fixed trait. This small shift in wording can help children see that their emotions are temporary and manageable rather than defining who they are.

Supporting Kids in Their Journey Toward Emotional Resilience

Anxiety is a challenge, but it doesn’t have to be a barrier. When children learn to recognize their worries, understand their brain’s response, and apply effective coping strategies, they build the emotional resilience they need to navigate life’s ups and downs.

Books like Hello, Anxiety provide valuable tools for guiding these conversations in a way that is engaging, empowering, and easy for kids to understand. Whether you’re a parent, teacher, school counselor, or mental health professional, incorporating these strategies can help children feel more confident in handling their emotions.

Looking for More Support?

If you’d like to introduce these strategies to the kids in your life, be sure to check out Hello, Anxiety and its companion resources. And if you're reading this before February 11, 2025, head over to Vanessa’s Instagram (@counselorvdejesus) to enter a giveaway for a chance to win a free copy!

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Have you used any of these techniques with kids? What strategies have worked best for you? Share your thoughts in the comments!